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|Have you ever consciously made the decision to not get too happy, too comfortable, too “fill-in-the-blank” simply because IF something happened you didn’t want to be disappointed?
Example: Let’s say you’re up for a promotion at work. Instead of allowing yourself to be excited and think about the possibilities, you squash those feelings of excitement so you’re not disappointed if you don’t get the promotion.
Or maybe your partner/person you’re dating tells you they are taking you out on a date and won’t give you the details because they want to surprise you. Instead of allowing yourself to feel all the feels of someone expressing how they care about you through action, you choose to be nonchalant about in case what they’ve planned for you isn’t really something you’re interested in.
You can probably think of several examples of a similar scenario. We do it as a defense mechanism.
I was watching a video the other day that perfectly sums up why we do this: Foreboding Joy.
We’re trying to beat disappointment to the punch, so we temper our Joy.
I’ve even heard this with the women I work with. When I’m encouraging them to go out on the adventure— to do the thing they REALLY want to do, whether it be a solo vacation, or even just adding in daily walks to their routine, I often am met with hesitation.
What if I go on that vacation, have an amazing time… and come home and everything returns to normal?
Still burdened, overwhelmed, doing everything for everybody, not getting the time I need for myself, not being appreciated, etc.
The answer to that?
According to Brene’ Brown (and Oprah!) is PRACTICING GRATITUDE.
|The idea of simply allowing yourself to stay in the moment and show gratitude for it, allows us to experience JOY more often.
Because, just like they said in the video — shielding yourself from experiencing those emotions and choosing to not lean into them will not save you from hurt and disappointment.
It simply means that we have LESS moments of JOY.
And that’s the absolute last thing I want for you.
Say it with me:
I am grateful.
I am grateful.
I am grateful for THIS MOMENT.
Let’s keep practicing.
P.S. If this is an area that you struggle with, we should chat. As a Clarity Coach I know firsthand that sometimes just talking it out with someone is helpful. You can book a free, no strings attached Clarity Call with me here.