Put Fear in the Back Seat

write, women of color, note pad, adventure, creativity, dream, goals, journey, future

How often do you dream about your future these days? I mean really dream. Not only the big, scary, I-may-need-to-hit-the-lottery dreams, but also the quiet ‘I wish I could do this one small thing but’ dreams.

Now, how often do you talk yourself out of those very same dreams?

Just today, I asked my daughter what she wants to be when she grows up and she confidently told me, “A Pilot-Astronaut”. As her mother, I want to do everything in my power to help her achieve her dreams. I know they’ll change tomorrow (she’s 3), but that’s beside the point.

The point is, we often go harder for others than we go for ourselves. Too often I hear the women around me share a dream and within seconds of saying it aloud, give all the reasons why it can’t work.

I’m too old.
I’m too out of shape.
I don’t have enough money.
I would if I had xyz.
I can’t go back to school.
______________  (fill in the blank with myriad of reasons).

Perhaps it’s a coping mechanism— a way to squash your dream before someone else does it for you. To that I say, it’s better to find out who the dream crushers are in your life now, so that you can get rid of them, or at least know with whom you can share your wildest dreams and receive support.

However, it is certainly possible that you believe your inner voice. Somewhere along your journey, you accepted the false narrative that it’s too late for you to make good on dreams that hold the potential to make you feel more alive.

That is a common problem for women, especially for women of color. How do we get back to the confidence of a 3-year-old who’s going to be a Pilot – Astronaut?

The answer is by doing one thing at a time.

Embrace your dreams as adventures.
Quell that inner voice until you can trust it to treat you with the same respect it treats others. Put fear and self-doubt in the backseat, or maybe even the trunk.

Regardless of what your inner dragon is telling you, it’s time to commit to yourself. Choose your thing, write it down, put it somewhere you will see it every single day and take the necessary steps to make it happen. Then, choose the next dream and repeat.

As these dreams become reality, you’ll gain more confidence. You’ll learn to trust yourself. You’ll finally feel like the badass I already know you are. And then, you’ll find your inner voice has changed her tune.

So what dream are we starting on first?


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